Magnify Your Positive Voices, Minimize the Negative

A few nights ago, I literally had a dream about my negative voice – actually, it was more like a nightmare.  A strange man walked up to me and said, “Who do you think you are?  Who are YOU to think that you can be a writer, a published author?  You have a degree in music performance.  You’re a violinist, not a writer!  You are wasting your life by pursuing writing and not music.”

I was held spell-bound by what this man was saying.  I soaked in every word as if he was reading me the Gospel.  Maybe he was right.  I did feel inadequate sometimes.  And it is true: I’m a trained classical violinist.  I didn’t go to school to become an author.  Think of those tens of hundreds of dollars that will be sucked down the drain, worthless, because I pursue something I love yet didn’t get an expensive degree in.

Suddenly, my iPhone rang, which I was holding in my hand.  I looked at the screen and saw it was The Warrior calling.  I looked up at the man and back at the phone screen.  I was so awfully absorbed with this negative, forceful voice that I almost did not take The Warrior’s call.  I stood in the balance between positivity and negativity.  But then I made my choice and said to the man, “I HAVE to take this.  I don’t know when I’ll hear from him next,” which was probably inspired by the fact that The Warrior is deploying soon.  I took his call, walked away from the negativity, and after that I don’t remember what happened.  But there is great symbolism in him interrupting the negative voice in my dream.

The Warrior has been the BIGGEST positive voice in my life in regards to my writing – and it’s not a false aww-you’re-the-best-baby-slobbering-love-affair adoration.  He believes in what I do, he encourages me in what I do, and he has confidence that I will be very successful with my writing career.  He has said (genuinely) on multiple occasions, “One day you will write a New York Times bestseller.”  (Although I tease him and say, “The only reason you want me to be a NY Times bestselling author is so that YOU can claim some of the fame, being married to me.”  Ha!)

Sometimes I do have self-doubt. Sometimes I think that I don’t have any credibility, or that no one will be interested in my work.  When I get down to it, I would write even if no one read my words; I write because I LOVE it and feel a need to do it.  But it’s hard to not sometimes feel the pressure of being successful at my dream.

I thank God for The Warrior.  He keeps me grounded.  He reminds me of what is important in life.  He reminds me of my self-worth.  And he gives me that extra push I need to ignore the negative voices and listen to the positive ones.

~Malori~

Surprise hug

When The Warrior showed up at my house as a surprise last year – this is a screen shot taken from the video my mom took! What a fun, memorable moment. :)

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4 thoughts on “Magnify Your Positive Voices, Minimize the Negative

  1. Aww. It’s great to hear how supportive and uplifting your hubby is. Those relationships are the best. It is hard to turn down those negative voices. They can be powerful. But don’t let them stop you! You can be a published author. The beautiful thing about writing is that you don’t NEED training or a degree. You just need to do it!

    • Thanks Amy! I am so thankful for how supportive he is…and actually he has an idea of a book we could write together someday! (He doesn’t like typing though, so that will be my job. ;) ) And that is very true about writing!

  2. Malori, we have so much in common. I have a music performance degree, and I only began seeing my writing published a few years ago. There’s nothing like seeing that magazine or that professional blog with your article and your byline published in print or online. Everyone I know seems to be encouraging me to begin working on writing books, and it’s so easy to tell myself that I’ll never be that successful. That I’ll never be able to pull a hundreds-of-pages-long story together into one cohesive novel. But then someone I love (my Dad, my husband, a small business owner in my hometown who I respect) encourages me – out of the blue – and I realize that my life will only be as amazing as I’m willing to attempt making it. Keep dreaming, keep writing, and keep holding onto the positive as your Warrior’s deployment inches closer. You can do it.

    • Thanks so much for your encouragement, Melissa! I feel like somewhere I read that you had a music performance degree and I thought, “That is awesome! She’s a musician but now a writer and an Army wife, she sounds like me!” But yes, because I took out SO much student loan debt, it’s easy to feel like wow, that was a waste. But a good education is never a “waste” really. That is a great quote from you: “…my life will only be as amazing as I’m willing to attempt making it.” :) Learning and practicing writing is so much fun, and I can’t wait to see what I’m able to do with it.

      I really enjoy reading your blog, it is always so interesting! And your “running through deployment” has begun to inspire me to do more physical challenges while my soldier is deployed this time. :)

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