For this week’s Blue Star Families‘ deployment post, they wanted us to address where we are in the deployment cycle and how writing about it has changed things.
We are almost two months into the deployment, which is almost the same point that Julie’s family is at currently. Two of those weeks were spent on emergency leave, so Mark has been in-country for a little over a month. In the grand scheme of things, it has NOT been very long AT ALL.
That is okay though. I knew going into this deployment that it would be longer than the first one. I also knew the circumstances would be different than the first one, and the circumstances are definitely easier on me, as the one waiting at home. But I think, in a way, things are harder for Mark this time around. Nothing is more thrilling (our warriors tell us) than being in the heat of battle. There are moments when it is absolutely terrifying, but there are other times when the exhilaration is more than anything we could ever imagine….and they CRAVE that adrenaline rush. It may be hard for us civilians to understand, but Mark sometimes misses that, as do many other soldiers.
For me personally, writing is something that I just do. I would write even if no one read it. I write in my private journal. I write here publicly. My writing here used to not be so public, and it IS very exciting that it’s reaching more readers. It is wonderful to receive comments that say, “I’m glad I’m not the only one” or “You are such a good writer!” My love language is Words of Affirmation, and nothing makes me feel better than verbal (or written) praise.
But has writing about the deployment affected it? It is hard to tell, actually. Writing helps me focus and organize my thoughts, and therefore “see the woods through the trees” when things get rough. But writing is also an integral part of who I am. I MUST write. I can’t imagine not doing it. I am COMPELLED to write in order to thrive. And I do believe in not just surviving deployments, but thriving through them.
It is my hope also that my writing about deployment can touch many other lives. If you are having a “stabby” day (coined by my dear Army Wife Network family), I hope that something I’ve written can be of comfort to you. I get you, fellow military wives. We are in this together.